Jokes???

     

Inherit a Farm

An ailing grandmother was speaking to her favourite granddaughter:

“Lori, I am old and weak, and I know that the time for me to leave is near. I want you to inherit my farm, including the barn, villa, tractors, farmhouse, all the livestock, and the piggery.”

“Wow,” said Lori, stunned. “Thank you so much, Grandma! I didn’t know you had a farm. Where is it?”

Her grandma replied, “You can find it on my Facebook account. Just click on the Farmville bookmark after logging on. My e-mail address is ‘dgranny@yahoo.com,’ the password is ‘just4lori’.

Tenses

A teacher says "OK, class. Today we're going to be talking about the tenses. If I say 'I'm beautiful,' what tense am I using?"

A boy raises his hand and says, "Obviously the past tense, Miss."

Second Thoughts

In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for Valentine’s Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it into school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch eating the same box of candy.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews. "And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."

Jokes

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss were on their way to a lunch meeting. In the taxi, they found a lamp. The boss rubbed it, and a genie appeared. ''I'll grant you one wish each,'' the genie said.

Grabbing the lamp from his boss, the eager senior manager shouted, ''I want to be on a fast boat in the Bahamas with no worries.'' And, poof, he was gone.

The junior manager couldn't keep quiet. He shouted, ''I want to be in California, with beautiful girls, food and cocktails.'' And, poof, he was gone.

Finally, it was the boss's turn. ''I want those idiots back in the office after lunch.''